Leaving London, i felt like a Rajkumar - as a friend put it. Colored lights flashed along the inside of the aircraft just before take-off. Shortly after, the aerial Londinium view disappeared below the clouds and yours truly was air borne, surrounded by pleasant home coming thoughts. Things however, have a way of not going to plan. Never before had i been so acutely aware of the importance of event management in the humidity of a July Delhi. All the packing & planning amounted to zilch.
I had vowed not to attend a pre-wedding ceremony, but somewhere along the way i read, "Swallow your pride, its non-fattening" and a last-minute change of heart resulted. That 11th hour decision made me go to the local shop to buy a kurta for the Sai Sandhya - which was already underway. Going home to change was not an option because home was locked up and i didn't have the keys. Exposing my belly, I got half-naked in a huff to the amusement of the staff & passers-by. Before donning it, i made sure i removed all the pins from the stiff, new kurta. Paying the guy cash, i dashed off to the the temple in the starchy new outfit. It was delightful to meet old family and friends there amid singing of bhajans, dancing and other fancy kaboodle -- such as snakes and water spewing out of the heads of men dressed as Gods. It was fun and i am sure i would have regretted missing it.
We were then led to a marquee set up one level down, where panditji was eagerly waiting for us. The sacred fire was lit and holy stuff got underway. I found myself doing crazy things with rice, water, money, & sweets etc. Strangely enough, this was the one bit that both of us actually enjoyed. Full credit goes to panditji, who took the trouble of explaining everything he said & did in sanskrit - We were apparently surrounded by unseen celestial beings showering their blessings. Meanwhile, visible guests arriving at the wedding hall would have been left wondering where the couple had sodded off to. Unperturbed by the growing chaos, we went round the fire 7 times with me holding her pallu.
After the sacred vows witnessed by the holy fire, we had to leg it back to the hall one level up, that by now seemed to have gone a mile further. Tired & confused instead of being fresh & relaxed, i was now greeted by hordes of guests - close friends and family - who had been separated by space & time. Being pushed & pulled in different directions by emotions, social norms and the sanctity of the occasion, we somehow managed to reach the podium amid grinning faces - familiar and unfamiliar.
Well wishers thronged to meet & greet. The camera guy made a fuss about "holding that pose". Between guest visits to the podium, there were long periods we were left just sitting - as others made merry. The best man & the bridesmaid (if there ever were one) seem to have gone for a jolly too. The crowd seemed to have forgotten us and the occasion.
Long hours into the night, I'd had enough. I was dying to put on something comfortable. After some more ceremonies, we finally headed home in the cool night air. I think i was still holding the coconut. On our wedding night, we were greeted by the worst grid-trip in northern India in 10 years: an 18-hour power cut. Things stalled and got hot and sweaty. At first i thought this was a small glitch. When the buzzing mosquitoes, heat and sweat got too much around day break and the invertor too packed up, it dawned that this must be something more sinister. Indeed half the Indian population was engulfed in darkness as center & state played verbal volleyball. Ironically, we had a complimentary AC room booked at the ***** hotel that no one seemed to know anything about.
There was a sigh of relief when power returned the following evening and the Pag-fera rasm was accomplished at the 11th hour.
In the following days, word spread of the shaadi and 10-12 Hijras turned up one morning - clapping, singing & dancing. We really should have videoed the hilarious dialogue & haggling that followed between them and sasu-maa. Hours later, a settlement was reached: some cash & kind now and upon the arrival of a grandson, a grand amount would be bestowed upon them. Peace temporarily returned.
Next came the ordeal of getting a marriage certificate. Avoiding monsoon filth & puddles of water, we approached one of the clerks - a bettle-nut chewing bloke under a makeshift tent with a manual typewriter and a rubber stamp. He came across as helpful and got underway to make us an affidavit of some sort. We were informed that the officer in-charge was in a meeting with the chief minister of Delhi. We waited in the dark, humid corridors for the officer, with some others pacing around and kids wailing. They say patience is passion tamed, but i had reached the end of my tether twiddling thumbs in the ultra-humid corridors. Finally at half-an-hour to close, the officer turned up, only to say that ours is a different zonal office. Next day, there was so much passion, we got the job done in a single shot at the right place. I was so excited (even lost) i got some basics wrong in my marriage certificate.
Leaving the power-cuts, hijras and humidity behind, honeymoon to Mauritius was the best bit of the fiasco. Its a beautiful island with a population of under a million - mainly Creole-speaking Hindus. Maha-Shivratri is the major festival & there are lots of Toyotas on the roads. It is infact a hit among honeymooning Indian & European love birds. We had a marvelous time amidst the sun, sea & sand, hobnobing with other couples, para-sailing, water-rafting, quad biking. The submarine ride and 'patting the lioness' were fun. I almost got bitten by an ostrich at the nature reserve. There was some haggling and plans to unscheduled destinations were often made on the go. Oh & someone got tipsy on the complimentary champagne.
We made the most of a heated pool yards from our room. I stocked our room generously with coffee & Tim Tams and had the daily newspaper delivered every morning. Days were taken up by trips to exotic locations such as temple, safari, craft market etc. And wherever you go, the DODO was there in some shape or form on the merchandise - smiling slyly from some corner. After a few more sightings, it caught the missus's fancy and she almost dumped me for the clumsy bird. There were themed nights (belly dancing ..), buffet dinner & smoke - all a pleasure to indulge in. The candle light dinner (that DID happen) would be memorable because the guy wouldn't allow me in in three-quarters. The picturesque landscape, friendly locals and their hospitality made the trip worthwhile. We were sad to have to come back to an August Delhi..so soon. Lets make a DODO the next Delhi CM because it at least has some spine.
